**CONTAINS SPOILERS**
Tonight’s debut episode of AEW COLLISION was broadcast live from the United Center in Chicago, IL!
Nigel McGuinness and Kevin Kelly were the broadcast team for tonight’s event.
It’s Saturday night and you know what that means! Saturday night’s alright for fighting!
“Cult of Personality” began to play, and CM Punk walked to the ring!
“Fans have waited nine months and tonight we get some answers,” said Nigel.
CM Punk was carrying a red drawstring bag and a pair of wrestling boots.
CM Punk: “I don’t know if you guys heard, but I’m tired of being nice. Gone 10 months with a ruptured tendon torn straight off the bone but I’m still here. This is the professional wrestling business. This is a business for grown-ups. This is not a popularity contest.
“I’m tired of being nice. Tell me when I’m telling lies. I did all these things and I got here to this place, riding the wave, riding the backs of smart, passionate professional wrestling fans like you. And I never fit in anywhere like I have here in professional wrestling. I love you for it. And you love me because I have never compromised. I am me. I couldn’t have done all this without all of you.
“But it seems there’s some people that hate me for the same reasons you all love me. Listen, I understand that the sheer magnitude of me makes people uncomfortable. My mere presence makes people uncomfortable. Because I am the truth, and the truth is painful.
“Boo me, cheer me, love me, hate me, you all do it, because you know I’m right. David Zaslav calls me ‘One Bill Phil.’ You can call me whatever you want. I am the one true genuine article in a business full of counterfeit bucks. The king is back, baby. And I do have a lot of things to get off my chest.
“I got a question Chicago. Why would I change? This is what Joe Strummer trained me for. I will never compromise. And there’s the people that think that they’re owed an apology. I’ve grown older and wiser in my years. If you feel you’re owed an apology and you’re here tonight. I am sorry that the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like. Tell me when I’m telling lies.
“The last time you saw me with my triceps meat hanging down, I held what is in this bag. It’s mine because I earned it. I won the dog collar match. This belongs to me until someone can pin me or submit me for it. And there are those of you who are praying that I’m going to put these boots down in the ring and walk off into the sunset. But until there is somebody in this company that can fill my boots, they belong to me. Tell me when I’m telling lies!”
TNT Championship Match!
Wardlow (c.) vs. Luchasaurus (with Christian Cage)!
Wardlow and Luchasaurus tied up in the center of the ring. They traded shoulder blocks until Wardlow dropkicked Luchasaurus. Christian Cage whispered in Luchasaurus’ ear outside the ring.
Wardlow followed in pursuit but Christian crawled under the ring, trying to find a place to hide. Christian provided just enough of a distraction to allow for Luchasaurus to blast Wardlow with a big boot.
Wardlow hoisted up Luchasaurus on his shoulders and then planted him backwards. Wardlow steamrolled Luchasaurus with a lariat. Wardlow walloped Luchasaurus with a spinebuster. Wardlow climbed to the top rope, but Luchasaurus knocked him down and followed up with a one-arm chokeslam.
Wardlow headbutted Luchasaurus but the challenger answered with a headbutt of his own. Wardlow set up the Symphony of Destruction and powerbombed Luchasaurus. Christian Cage bought a little time outside the ring, distracting Wardlow, and Luchasaurus was able to chokeslam Luchasaurus.
Wardlow powerslammed Luchasaurus and then nailed him with a swanton! Christian Cage climbed up the ring steps, distracting Wardlow again. Christian Cage smashed one of the ringside photographer’s cameras in the face of Wardlow and then Luchasaurus stole the pin!
Your new TNT Champion…Luchasaurus!
Lexy Nair was backstage with Powerhouse Hobbs and QT Marshall!
QT Marshall: “I have a QTV exclusive for you. Powerhouse Hobbs will be in, and will win, the Owen Hart Tournament.”
Hobbs: “When the press release dropped for Collision, whose name was front and center?”
QT: “Powerhouse.”
Hobbs: “Exactly. I am the face of TNT. And there’s a new chapter in the Book of Hobbs. And the story is about redemption. Being on the top of the hill. Getting Gold. Winning the Owen Hart Tournament. And taking what’s mine.”
Andrade El Idolo vs. AEW World Trios Champion Buddy Matthews (with Julia Hart)!
“34 years of combined experience for these two young veterans,” said Kevin Kelly.
Andrade dodged a charge from Buddy, sending Buddy crashing to the arena floor. Andrade cartwheeled on the apron and then moonsaulted onto Buddy Matthews.
Andrade jumped off the guardrail and hit a hurracanrana on Buddy, launching Buddy into the timekeeper’s table. Buddy shoved Andrade off the apron, with Andrade’s shoulder colliding into the barricade. Buddy followed up with a meteora.
Andrade targeted the left knee of Buddy with a dragon screw leg whip. Andrade connected with a double moonsault for a near fall. Andrade attempted a spear through the ropes, but Buddy countered with a DDT for a two-count.
Buddy attempted a sunset powerbomb off the ropes, but his knee gave out. Andrade capitalized with a spinning back elbow. Buddy rallied back with a massive kick to a charging Andrade.
The fans chanted “This is awesome! This is awesome!”
Andrade countered a submission attempt by Buddy. Andrade locked in the figure four submission, then transitioned to the figure eight, and Buddy tapped out!
“Wrestling is human chess, and you learn from different masters. You’ve adapted all over the world, Nigel. It looks like that one was a little closer to home,” said Kevin Kelly.
Andrade tried to help Buddy to his feet, but Buddy shoved him away. Andrade offered his hand again, and this time the arena went black! When the lights switched back on, Andrade was surrounded by Brody King and Malakai Black! Brody rocked Andrade with a clothesline! Malakai whispered something to Andrade.
A hype package aired for Scorpio Sky!
Scorpio Sky: “Nobody can beat me. I’m on another level.”
“The Premier Athlete” Tony Nese was in the ring with “Smart” Mark Sterling!
Nese: “Listen up! Being that I am a personal trainer, I cannot sit in the back another minute when all I see on my screen is a crowd full of the fattest trash that Chicago has to offer. I have good news. I have decided to shut Collision down and instead tonight we’re all going to do group training. So, everybody stand up. Let’s go! Put that deep dish down. Everybody reach up as high as you can. We’re going to start with stretches.”
“The Redeemer” Miro came out!
“Miro had an open contract and the name Tony Nese signed across,” said Kevin Kelly.
“Take a look at the incredible shape that Miro is in,” replied Nigel.
Miro clubbed at Nese in the corner, then stomped the proverbial mudhole in him. Miro followed up with a massive clothesline. Miro bludgeoned Nese with overhand forearms. Nese tried to turn things back in his favor by jumping off the turnbuckles, but Miro caught him and tossed Nese away.
“That is a monster. A bear!” said Nigel.
Miro plastered Nese with a thrust kick. Miro locked on the “Game Over” and forced Tony Nese to submit.
NJPW Strong Women’s Champion Willow Nightingale & Skye Blue
vs.
The Outcasts’ Ruby Soho & AEW Women’s World Champion Toni Storm!
Toni and Ruby ambushed Skye and Willow. Willow pounced Ruby right into the guardrail!
Ruby tripped Willow, then grounded and pounded her. Willow rallied back with a clothesline. Skye and Toni tagged in. Skye cracked Toni with a running knee and a high kick. Skye connected with a cross body press, but Ruby broke up the pin attempt.
Toni locked on the Cloverleaf on Skye Blue. Skye was able to reach the ropes, forcing the ref to break the hold. Willow tagged in but as the ref was distracted, Ruby hit Willow with a kick. Skye grabbed a tag, but Toni clobbered her with the running hip attack!
Ruby held Skye while Toni was about to spray paint Skye in the face. Willow grabbed Toni and Toni inadvertently sprayed Ruby in the eyes, blinding her. Skye hit the Code Blue on Ruby Soho and pinned her!
“Absolute” Ricky Starks declared himself an entrant into the Owen Hart Cup Tournament!
“I am going to become the next winner! What better place to do that than in Canada? This tournament is absolutely meant for me.”
A Jeff Jarrett video package aired!
“The match is made! Jeff Jarrett versus Mark Briscoe. Concession Stand Brawl. 46 years to the day that the Last Outlaw’s family created the first ever Concession Stand Brawl, Tupelo, Mississippi. Put hardcore wrestling on the map. This week on Dynamite when I get you in the ring, it’s not going to be a wrestling match. Mark, I play the long game, and the Last Outlaw never loses the long game. Mark, I’m kicking your ass.”
Tony Schiavone was in the ring to interview The Acclaimed—Anthony Bowens & Max Caster—and Daddy Ass!
Daddy Ass: “This was such a special night that I went out and got myself a new scissor outfit. The last couple weeks have been a little straining on my head. The Trios title is still not out of the picture. We’re just about to get back on track.”
Bowens: “We’re going to have plenty of time to do that because AEW now stands for two different things: Acclaimed Every Wednesday. And Acclaimed Every Weekend! And since we love you guys so much, I think we’re going to stick around for Dynamite this week. And in closing we wanted to come out here tonight and make a little history with the first ever Collision scissor. And we figured we’d do it in the scissor city of Chicago. The city that made the Acclaimed the people’s choice. We scissor because in Chicago everyone loves the Acclaimed!”
Trios Main Event!
CM Punk & AEW World Tag Team Champions FTR—Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler
vs.
Bullet Club Gold—Jay White & Juice Robinson, & ROH World TV Champion Samoa Joe!
The legend himself Jim Ross joined the broadcast booth for the main event.
The fans chanted “CM Punk! CM Punk!”
Dax and Jay White tied up, with Dax backing up White into the turnbuckles.
The fans chanted “CMFTR! CMFTR!”
Jay White chopped at Dax Harwood’s chest. Dax backdropped Jay White. “Rock Hard” Juice Robinson tagged in. Dax tagged to Cash and Cash dropkicked Juice. Cash used a backslide for a near fall on Juice.
CM Punk tagged in. He tried to put the match away early with the GTS, but Juice escaped and tagged out to Samoa Joe. The ROH World TV champ lit up CM Punk with heavy handed chops. CM Punk applied a headlock to Samoa Joe.
Dax tagged in and Samoa Joe worked him over in the corner. Juice connected with a double ax handle from the top rope. Dax fought back with a German Suplex. Cash grabbed the tag and cleaned house on Juice Robinson. Cash scoop slammed Juice for a two-count.
Juice splashed Cash with a senton. Samoa Joe tagged in and rocked Cash with a back heel kick. Jay White came in and chop blocked Cash. Juice tagged in and it was clear they were isolating Cash.
CM Punk got a tag and body slammed Juice and Jay. Punk planted Jay with a neck breaker. He connected with a bulldog lariat combination on Juice and Jay. Punk lifted Jay White for the GTS, but Jay gouged at Punk’s eyes. Punk rocked Jay with a roundhouse kick. Punk climbed to the top rope, but Juice swept out his leg.
Punk countered the Blade Runner from White with a lariat. Dax tagged in and superplexed Jay. Cash splashed Jay and then CM Punk hit a diving elbow for a near fall, broken up by Juice.
Samoa Joe tagged in, and he and Punk exchanged strikes. Jay White blindsided Punk and then things broke down, with all six men brawling.
CM Punk tried to hoist up Samoa Joe, but Joe countered with a sleeper. Dax broke it up with a diving shoulder to Samoa Joe.
“It’s anybody’s ballgame right here,” said Jim Ross.
FTR hit the Big Rig on Juice. CM Punk followed up with the Go-To-Sleep and pinned Juice Robinson!
“CM Punk said until someone can fill my boots I’m staying here. Tonight, not a man alive could fill the boots of CM Punk,” said Nigel.
“The entire wrestling world heard that statement and CM Punk is going to be challenged on those words right here on Collision. And whether it’s next week in Toronto on the eve of Forbidden Door or anywhere down the road, CM Punk is going to be called on the carpet by somebody. And when that time comes, CM Punk said he’ll do the right thing.”
Catch AEW DYNAMITE on TBS next Wednesday live at 8/7ct from the Wintrust Arena in Chicago, IL!
Next Friday tune in to AEW RAMPAGE at 10pm ET on TNT!
Then Saturday, June 24th, it’s AEW COLLISION live on TNT at 8/7c from the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto, ON!
Don’t miss FORBIDDEN DOOR 2023 on Sunday, June 25th, live on PPV from the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto, ON!
And remember…the home of professional wrestling is All Elite Wrestling!